Bill Cosby’s Other Accusers Didn’t Get to Speak at His Sentencing. Here’s What They Would Have Said

In 2014, I learned of the heinous crime Bill Cosby committed against me. Since that time, my humanity has been tested. I was a young naive woman who trusted a man who represented himself as a hero, a father figure and a pillar of the community. I used to cry for myself in the beginning because of shock, trauma, pain, agony, suffering, loss, remorse, guilt, shame, regret and sadness. Now, if I cry, it is from strength and power.

He left a negative mark on me, and he kept it a secret, he wrote a poem he dedicated to his parents that talked about betrayal and secrets, and spent a lifetime betraying the most vulnerable souls and forced their silence. He forced my silence with drugs and memory loss. He committed a crime against me.

He preached to our youth for years in a bad attempt to teach them to take responsibility for their actions, but he does not honor his own words. Here is some advice from a real teacher: People are hurting from your actions, my family has suffered from your wrongdoing. Let God see you reach into the deepest, darkest corners of your soul and show him you know the road to redemption, show him the willpower and determination it takes to be responsible for the trauma you caused me. Try starting with an apology. The time is now. It is not too late to make amends to me and my family. I would like you to be grateful to my beautiful parents, Albert and Christina who taught me how to be the remarkable woman that stands here today, who taught me to survive, how to be strong, and to be a force to be reckon with. An unexpected fork in the road for you. Because of my strength and my family, I stand here to serve as one more opportunity for you to work on the path of your own salvation, just as we all must do. I am free of you, I have moved on and I forgive you. I won’t ever forget what you did to me and there will be times I will feel sorrow and pain but it will never control my life.

I have the strength to give you permission to ask me for my forgiveness. I have the love for myself to open the door and allow you, to ease your own suffering. I will give you permission to address me and I will listen when you apologize for hurting me. You know in order for God to save you, you have to do your part.

Maybe you will find peace when you make amends with me. Remember you do not have very long to redeem yourself at this late age in your life. Use your time in confinement wisely. You are a convicted criminal, everyone knows it and everyone knows what you did to me. Show God you have the human capacity to feel remorse, to regret your actions and the desire to ease the suffering of those you hurt. Be the example you have touted yourself to be and show us how a sinner’s faith can make him strong when he is weak.

I have waited 32 years for this day hoping my nightmare would go away. I prayed every day that Mr. Bill Cosby would go to prison, do his time and finally pay his dues. I prayed for him to get the maximum sentence of 30 years. If he does not receive the maximum of 30 years, I will move on. But he must finally start taking full responsibility for his actions.

He did not care how old I was. I was young and innocent and only 17 years old. Why should he receive mercy just because he is 81 years old. I will find peace of mind as long as Mr. Cosby serves prison time for his actions. I have full faith in our judicial system and as I said from the beginning Mr. Cosby you are guilty, guilty, guilty. My mother always told me, don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.

I would like to thank the District Attorney and his entire staff for their relentless pursuit of justice in this case. And thank you to my attorney Ms. Gloria Allred, who will publically read this statement in my absence, following the sentencing.

My final thanks goes to you, Mr. Cosby. Yes, I said thank you Mr. Cosby. Thank you for your enormous ego and arrogance, for without it we might not be here today. Your arrogance led a group of wounded women to come together, to support one another and to form a bond that can never be broken. We have stood together to change the statute of limitations laws in several states, all because of you, Mr. Cosby. So once again, I thank you. Mr. Cosby, I want to thank you for allowing me to become a strong and outspoken advocate for sexual abuse survivors everywhere. Your arrogance sparked a movement that has grown to thousands of women taking back their self-esteem and proudly standing up for what is morally right, so, thank you Mr. Cosby. You used your celebrity to victimize dozens upon dozens of women, including me and your sense of entitlement and lack of remorse is astonishing. But thank you Mr. Cosby for possessing these morally corrupt character flaws, for they have also led us to this moment. Although the decades of sexual assault and rape committed which many women believe were committed by you did not go unnoticed by either your peers or victims, it took far too many years for justice to be served. It is for that reason I am asking the court to sentence you to the fullest term possible. You are solely responsible for personally sentencing scores of women to years of self-imprisonment, of self-doubt, shame, and humiliation so it is only appropriate that you serve the 30 year sentence allowed by law.

Your Honor, I completely trusted this once beloved man and he took advantage of that trust to satisfy his perverted fantasies. I held on to the humiliation of my experience for over thirty years and to this day, I still have trouble forgiving myself even with the knowledge that I am NOT the one to blame. However, when I do fall back into that black hole where I used to blame myself, I still, to this day, struggle to defeat that irrational feeling any time I am reminded of my assault. It’s a constant battle and one that is a direct result of Mr. Cosby’s vile actions. Choosing to come forward was not only liberating but a costly decision as well. For two long years my marriage suffered tremendous strain, coming close to the brink of divorce as I sought to come to terms with the fact that I was indeed, a victim of rape. Your Honor, Mr. Cosby has not expressed one ounce of remorse or regret for his actions. His arrogance continues to this day. Please consider this when deciding on the length of Mr. Cosby’s sentence and please, please remember the premeditated and depraved behavior this sick man inflicted upon his victim.